verse
All right, stop whatcha doin'
The image and the style that ya used to
But yo I'm makin' money, see
So yo world I hope you're ready for me
And my sound's laid down by the Underground
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
So just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty
Yo ladies, oh how I like to funk thee
And all the rappers in the top ten-please allow me to bump thee
And just like Humpty Dumpty
You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me
I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
But sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
Hey yo fat girl, come here -are ya ticklish
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
And I even got my own dance
chorus
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Come on and do the Humpty Hump
Come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
verse
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B
All the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge
Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write
chorus
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what we're doin', doin' the Humpty Hump yall
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
verse
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
verse
Humpin', funkin', jumpin'
Jig around, shakin' ya rump
And when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
Tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump
verse
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
outro
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world
Keep on doin' the Humpty Dance
Peace and humptiness forever
Writer(s): George Clinton Jr., William Earl Collins, Gregory E. Jacobs, Walter Morrison