House Rules

Announcer: Double death combo!

Mordecai and Rigby: WHOAAAAA! Double death combo!

Benson: Hey guys, listen. When you′ve got a minute, I need you to take a look at these.

Mordecai: Sure, Benson. Oh, the house rules. Thanks, but we already have these.

Benson: Uh, no you don't, cause I′ve added a few new ones in there, and I'm gonna need you to sign off on them, okay? Rigby: Aw, man, more rules? He's gotta be joking!

Mordecai: Alright, let′s see. Rule #114: No feet on the table. Rule #115: No food on the table. Rigby: Fine!

Mordecai: Rule #116: No food on the floor.

Rigby: WHAT?! That′s going WAY too far! Come on, man, help me flip the table!

Mordecai: No, dude, just chill out. There's only one more new rule left.

Rigby: What is it?

Mordecai: No video games?!

Rigby: Are you nuts?!

Benson: Rule #47: No yelling!

Rigby: You can′t take video games away from us, man. What're we supposed to do?

Benson: Work. You′re supposed to work.

Mordecai: You know what? We're sick of all your rules! No prank calls, no rock-paper-scissors, no punchies, no unicorns? What does that even mean?

Rigby: These rules are all totally random, Benson, and they′re all aimed at us!

Benson: That's not true. #68: No harpsichord playing after 10 PM.

Rigby: I actually kind of like that one.

Mordecai: Yeah, but that's the only good one in there. The rest of them are terrible!

Benson: Look, I′m doing you a favor. Life without rules is chaos.

Mordecai: Fine. But we′re only signing off on the rules we like.

Rigby: Yeah, like the harpsichord one!

Benson: It doesn't work that way! If you can′t agree to live by all the house rules, then you can't live in this house!

Mordecai: Well then, we won′t live in this house.

Rigby: Yeah, cause your rules are whack!

Mordecai: We'll show you. We′re not gonna live with any rules at all.

Announcer: Double death combo!

Mordecai and Rigby: WHOAAAAA!

Mordecai: Heheh. Dude, we should have moved out a long time ago. I feel like I just got out of prison.

Rigby: That's 'cause Benson built a rule prison around us. But we busted out, and now we can do whatever we want!

Mordecai and Rigby: Rules are for fools! Rules are for fools! Save your stupid rulin′ for fools that need a schoolin′!

Mordecai: Muscle Man, what are you doing?!

Muscle Man: My job, bro. Read it and weep, ladies. Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what? Come on!

Muscle Man: While I sympathyze with your quest to live free of the man's rules, this guy′s still gotta put food on the table.

Mordecai: Fine! But you didn't have to ruin our campsite!

Muscle Man: Yes I did.

Mordecai: Yes! She′s still here. Hey!

Margaret: Hi guys!

Mordecai and Rigby: Hey, Margaret.

Margaret: Hey, is it true? Did you really move out of the house?

Rigby: Yeah, we did! 'cause Benson got all rulesy!

Mordecai: We had no choice. It was either leave or live with some other dude with rules.

Margaret: Wow, Mordecai! I didn′t know you were such a rebel.

Mordecai: Yep. You know me. Total rebel. Margaret: Well, good night. Mordecai: Actually, we don't have anywhere to sleep, so we were hoping you would let us camp out here tonight.

Margaret: I wish I could, but, my manager has a rule about that kind of thing. Sorry, guys.

Mordecai: It's cool. I′m sure we can find some place to crash that isn′t so big on rules. Later!

Mordecai: Dude, this is getting intense.

Rigby: No! More! RUUUUULES! No Rules Man: Did somebody say... ...rules?

Rigby: Oh, great. Who are you, the alley rules guy?

No Rules Man: Who am I? I'm whoever I want to be. Wanna know why? ′cause I don't believe in rules that tell me otherwise.

Mordecai: Whoa.

Rigby: That′s pretty cool.

No Rules Man: You better believe it's pretty cool. So what′s your guys' story? You all free to do whatever you want?

Mordecai: We wish.

Rigby: Yeah, we have this lame boss Benson that tells us to-

No Rules Man: Boss? What's that?

Mordecai: It′s a-

No Rules Man: Yeah, I know what a boss is. I was just making a point. Bosses are nothing but fools with rules.

Rigby: Oh yeah, rules for fools.

No Rules Man: That′s right! It makes so much sense in rhymes.

Rigby: Whoa, that's crazy!

No Rules Man: You guys seem pretty cool, so I′ll let you in on a little secret. I know of a place where rules don't exist.

Rigby: No way! Are you serious?

No Rules Man: Shhhhhhhhhhhh. Mordecai: A box of trash? Are you joking?

No Rules Man: Do I look like I′m joking? Mordecai: Uh, I don't know about this, dude.

Rigby: Well, I practically sleep in a pile of garbage at home anyways, so this isn′t really that different for me.

Mordecai: Sweet! Rigby and No Rules Man: WHOAAAAA! Double death combo!

Mordecai: Aw, you guys have Karate Choppers down here? No Rules Man: Go ahead. Put your feet up.

Mordecai: Aw, yeah-yuh! Can I get next game?

No Rules Man: No need, bro. Mordecai and Rigby: Three-player Karate Choppers! Oh, yeah-yuh!

No Rules Man: Rockin'. Would you mind getting that?

Mordecai: Hello?

Prank Caller: Loser says what!

Mordecai: Who is this?

Prank Caller: Loser says what!

Mordecai: I know what you're trying to do. I′m not going to say "what."

Prank Caller: You′re a loser! You loserhead! I hate you!

Mordecai: Dude, I think someone just prank called us.

No Rules Man: Ah, yeah. It was probably Kevin. Rigby: Oh man, you guys can make prank calls down here?

No Rules Man: You still don't get it, don′t you? Down here, you can do... ...whatever you want.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Mordecai: Whoa-oa!

No Rules Man: Yeah man, no rules of gravity.

Rigby: Dude, in Benson's face! Living without rules is awesome!

Mordecai: Yeah it is!

Mordecai and Rigby: No rules! No rules! No rules! No rules! No Rules Man: That′s right, no rules at all. Hey, look over there! Mordecai: What the heck, man?

Rigby: Dude! He just took your wallet! Mordecai: Dude, give it back!

No Rules Man: Why? There's no rule that says I can′t take other people's stuff.

Old Mordecai: He's right, dudes. Oh, man! I used to be so cool-looking! Wow, you′re totally going to miss that. You know what else you′re going to miss? That guy. Enjoy him while you got him, you know what I'm saying?

Rigby: What does that mean?

Old Mordecai: Oh, uh, nothing, dude.

Mordecai: Dude! How is this even happening?

No Rules Man: Because there′s no rule that says it can't! From your future to your past, anyone can join the party.

Mordecai: Unicorns?!

Rigby: They′re supposed to be dead!

Unicorn 1: Check it, bros! It's those two jerkbags that blew us up!

Mordecai: You gotta listen to us, man! These guys are seriously bad news! You gotta get rid of them!

No Rules Man: Did you just tell me what to do?! You just told me what to do! Hey, they just told me what to do!

Unicorn 1: They′re telling WHO what do to?!

Unicorn 2: Oh, no way, bro! Get 'em!

Rigby: Hey, you gotta get us outta here, man!

No Rules Man: This guy ain't gotta do jack, amigo! I can′t believe how lame you guys turned out! I thought you were cool! Rigby: I hate to admit this, but I miss Benson and his stupid rules!

Mordecai: Wait! Yo! No Rules Guy! You do have at least one rule down here. You have a rule against rules.

No Rules Man: There′s no rule against rules.

Mordecai: That's all I needed to hear. Unicorns: Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Mordecai: Rule #37: No unicorns! Rule #72: No rock-paper-scissors! No punchies! Rigby: And no prank calls! No Rules Man: Stop! Just stop it! You guys have no idea what-

Rigby: AAAAAGGGHHH! Mordecai: Show us the way out of here!

No Rules Man: There′s no rule that says I have to!

Mordecai: There's also no rule that says I can′t point this laser pointer in your only good eye! No Rules Man: Okay, okay! I'll take you out!

Mordecai: There. We signed off on all your rules, Benson.

Benson: Well, well, well. Wasn′t so easy living without rules, was it? Wait a minute. One of these rules is missing.

Rigby: Oh, no. Which one?

Benson: I don't know, there's over a hundred of these things!

Mordecai: Well, then, how do you know it′s missing?

Benson: Because somebody RIPPED IT OUT!

Mordecai: That′s crazy. I wonder which one it is.

No Rules Man: Hmph. Hmph. I didn't need those guys, I can play video games all by myself. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!