The Meek Shall Inherit

RONNETTE: There he is girls! I found him! There′s Seymour!

CRYSTAL: Seymour, can we have your autograph?

CHIFFON: We saw you on Channel Five News!

CRYSTAL: You looked soooo handsome!

CHIFFON: And you gonna be soooo rich!

SEYMOUR: Please girls, not now.

CRYSTAL: Is it true Audrey Two is Grand Marshal for the Rose Bowl?

CHIFFON: Is it true the shop is decorating the Senior Prom?

SEYMOUR: Yes, it's all true. Now please.

RONNETTE: There′s another big hotshot lookin' for you, Seymour. From uptown. He's

been askin′ all over, where can he find you? You′re famous, Seymour.

BERNSTEIN: Is that him?

RONNETTE: That's him, Mr. Bernstein.

BERNSTEIN: Thank you girls. Seymour Krelborn! Sweetie, honey, baby, pussycat!

SEYMOUR: Er... do I know you?

BERNSTEIN: Of course not, but are you gonna be hapy when you do

Seymour... Sweetheart... dollface... Bubbelah...

HEY SEYMOUR KRELBORN, YOU PRINCE YOU

MY NAME IS BERNSTEIN

I′M WITH NBC

I CAME DOWN HERE TO CONVINCE YOU

TO DO A WEEKLY T.V. SHOW FOR ME

"SEYMOUR KRELBORN'S GARDENING TIPS"

FOR HALF AN HOUR ON SUNDAYS, AT FOUR

T.V.′S FIRST HOME GARDENING PROGRAM

YOU'LL MAKE A MINT AND OUR RATINGS WILL SOAR!

GIRLS: THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT

YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN′T LIE

IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT

IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY

THEY SAY THE MEEK GONNA GET IT

AND YOU′RE A MEEK LITTLE GUY

YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET

WHAT′S COMIN' TO ′EM

BY AND BY.

CHIFFON: Your own T.V. show Seymour!

CRYSTAL: Coast to coast!

CHIFFON: Your name in lights!

CRYSTAL: Your face on screens!

CHIFFON: Sign it!

CRYSTAL: Sign it!

ALL: Sign that contract!

CHIFFON: Isn't it exciting?

RONNETTE: Here he is, Mrs. Luce! We found him! He′s right here!

MRS LUCE: My darling, my precious, my sweet, sweet thing. So delighted to make your acquaintance.

Cutie... sweetness... Seymour... babydoll...

I'D LIKE A WORD WITH YOU, LOVER

I′M SURE YOU KNOW ME... THE EDITOR'S WIFE

WE WANT YOUR FACE ON THE COVER

OF THE DECEMBER THIRD ISSUE OF LIFE

YES, THE FRONT OF LIFE MAGAZINE.

NOW THAT'S AN HONOR WE SO SELDOM GRANT.

WE′LL SEND SOMEONE DOWN, LET′S SAY THURSDAY

FOR SHOTS OF YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL PLANT.

GIRLS: THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT

YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN'T LIE

IT′S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT

IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY

THEY SAY THE MEEK GONNA GET IT

AND YOU′RE A MEEK LITTLE GUY

YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET

WHAT'S COMIN′ TO 'EM

BY AND BY.

CRYSTAL: Life Magazine? Oh my goodness, Seymour! You're gonna make it straight to the top!

CHIFFON: How did you do it?

RONNETTE: Here he is, sir! The incredible Seymour Krelborn! Owner of the fabulous Audrey Two. America′s most amazing - and largest - unidentified plant.

SNIP: So this is Seymour Krelborn. We′ve been trying to reach you, baby. Have your lines been busy! Did you get our telegram?

SEYMOUR: I don't think so.

SNIP: Well it′s a good thing I came down in person. Pleased to meet you, kid. Skip Snip. William Morris Agency.

FORGET THE CABLE WE SENT YOU

IT'S NICE TO MEET ME, THE PLEASURE IS YOURS

NOW LET MY FIRM REPRESENT YOU

WE WANT TO BOOK YOU ON LECTURING TOURS

COLLEGE CAMPUS, ROTARY CLUB-

THE KINDA BOOKINGS MY OFFICE CAN DO-

SHOW THE PLANT, THEN TALK, ANSWER QUESTIONS.

IT′S EDUCATIONAL, LUCRATIVE TOO.

SEYMOUR: MY FUTURE'S STARTING

I′VE GOT TO LET IT

STICK WITH THAT PLANT AND GEE,

MY BANK ACCOUNT WILL THRIVE.

WHAT AM I SAYING?

NO WAY, FORGET IT!

IT'S MUCH TOO DANGEROUS TO KEEP THAT PLANT ALIVE!

I TAKE THESE OFFERS,

THAT MEANS MORE KILLING

WHO KNEW SUCCESS WOULD COME WOTH MESSY, NASTY STRINGS?

I SIGN THESE CONTRACTS,

THAT MEANS I'M WILLING

TO KEEP ON DOING BLOODY, AWFUL, EVIL THINGS!

NO! NO! THERE′S ONLY SO FAR YOU CAN BEND!

NO! NO! THIS NIGHTMARE MUST COME TO AN END!

NO! NO!

YOU′VE GOT NO ALTERNATIVE,

SEYMOUR OLD BOY,

THOUGH IT MEANS YOU'LL BE BROKE AGAIN

AND UNEMPLOYED,

IT′S THE ONLY SOLUTION,

IT CAN'T BE AVOIDED

THE VEGETABLE MUST BE DESTROYED!

BUT THEN...

THERE′S AUDREY,

LOVELY AUDREY.

IF LIFE WERE TAWDRY AND IMPOVERISHED AS BEFORE

SHE MIGHT NOT LIKE ME

SHE MIGHT NOT WANT ME

WITHOUT MY PLANT, SHE MIGHT NOT LOVE ME ANY MORE!

GIRLS: THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT

SEYMOUR: WHERE DO I SIGN?

GIRLS: YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN'T LIE

SNIP: RIGHT ON THE LINE

GIRLS: IT′S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT

SNIP: THAT'LL DO FINE.

GIRLS: IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY.

SNIP: THIS COPY′S MINE.

GIRLS: YOU′LL MAKE A FORTUNE, WE SWEAR IT

SNIP: COULDN'T GO WRONG.

GIRLS: IF ON THIS FACT YOU RELY-

SNIP: BYE-BYE, SO LONG.

GIRLS: YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT′S COMIN' TO ′EM!

YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'S COMIN′ TO 'EM!

GIRLS AND SEYMOUR: YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'S COMIN′ TO ′EM!

BY... AND... BY!