"Wildest Dreams Parody" lyrics

[Taylor:]
My ex-boyfriends all hate me now
They think I was crazy and dicked them around.
I can't stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend.
So guess I gotta take them out!
How dare they all dump Taylor Swift and not remember me as perfect!
They must pay the price, and I won't rest until they all are dead!

Hey John remember me?

[John Mayer:]
Sure Taylor we dated before I met Katy.

[Taylor:]
Since our break up made me scream, I'll return the favor
Go to hell John Mayer!
That's right, scream!

[John Mayer:]
Aaah! Aaah!

[Taylor:]
Rest in Peace!
Haa! Haaaaah!

I invited Joe Jonas to my tent.
Yea, I used to date him
Back when he still had hits.

[Joe Jonas:]
It's not my fault my career went to shit.
God, I hate my brother.

[Taylor:]
Well, he's the one with talent!

[Joe Jonas:]
Why would you say something so cruel?
No please stop! What the hell did I do?

[Taylor:]
You broke up with me over the phone
and left me all alone.

Now I am on a plane
Soon I will be killin' one more ex Jake Gyllenhaal.

[Jake Gyllenhaal:]
What are you doing Tay?

[Taylor:]
I'm hitting this button!
Now I'm going to jump. It's my Wildest Dream!

[Jake Gyllenhaal:]
No No Noooo!

[Taylor:]
That was three. Two to go.

[Harry Styles:]
Taylor?

[Taylor:]
Hello Harry.
I've come to say Bye Bye cause you're about to die.

[Harry Styles:]
What? I'm just going to space.

[Taylor:]
There's been a change of plans cause I'm killing exes in my Wildest Dreams.
Aaah. Aaaaah.

[Calvin Harris:]
What are you doing Taylor love?

[Taylor:]
I know eventually you will dump me!

[Calvin Harris:]
What no! Oooow!

[Taylor:]
So I might as well kill you now.
Haaa! Haaaaaa!
Die! Die Calvin! Haaa!
You won't dump me Calvin! Not this time! Haaa Haaa!

[Calvin Harris:]
Taylor! Taylor! You okay? You were saying some strange things while sleeping.

[Taylor:]
I was just having a wild dream.

[Calvin Harris:]
I could tell.

[Taylor:]
Go back to sleep. Everything's fine.
Goodnight sweetheart. Sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite. Hee Hee.